“My Next Career,” Nov. 5, 2018

Few things make me happier than indulging in a deep philosophical discussion with one of my favorite philosophers about our favorite topic: Life.

My view is that of a woman with more years behind her than ahead. Henry’s view is that of a 7-year-old who is smart as a whip, wise beyond his years and wants to be taken seriously.

“Henry,” I said, “what will you do with your one sweet life?”

If the boy doesn’t know something (he knows plenty) he’s smart enough to ask you to explain it. He never stops asking questions. I hope he never will.

“What do you mean, Nana? Doesn’t life just happen to us?”

“Sure,” I said, “things happen. But life isn’t so much about what happens. It’s more about the choices we make — what we do with the things that happen.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“For example,” I said, “have you decided what you want to do for a job when you grow up?”

I’ve asked him that question so many times he probably thinks I want him to pay for my nursing home bills. But his answer keeps changing. Last week he wanted to be a marine biologist and swim with dolphins. This week he was taking a different path.

“Yes,” he said, “I want to own a restaurant. And also a farm to get food for the restaurant. Like, I’ll have chickens to lay eggs that I’ll serve for breakfast.”

“You’ll only do breakfast?”

“No, I’ll do lunch and dinner, too. And sushi. Every day.”

“Where will you get the fish for the sushi?”

“Well, Nana,” he said, rolling his eyes, “I’ll get it from the ocean, of course. The restaurant will be on the water. Maybe in Monterey. Or Hawaii.”

“Wow,” I said. “That’s a big job. What will you do? Will you be the chef in the restaurant or the fisherman on the boat or the farmer who feeds the chickens?”

“I will be the boss,” he said firmly. “And I will hire people to do all the other jobs.”

“That sounds great,” I said. “Will you hire me?”

He looked at me to see if I was grinning. I was not.

“Nana,” he said, “I’m only 7. That could be a long time from now. Maybe 20 years. Do you think … well … do you really think you’ll still be alive?”

I laughed so hard I had a coughing fit.

“It’s not funny!” he said.

Henry is painfully aware that life, as we know it, does not last forever. He knows his mom’s father died of cancer. His dad’s grandma died, too, not long ago. And recently, he lost Oliver and Archie, a dachshund and yorkie that he had known all his life and loved like brothers.

“I don’t want you to die,” he said. “I want you here with me.”

I pulled him close and held him. He smelled like his mama.

“Where am I,” I said, “when you can’t see me?”

That’s the question I ask him and his cousins whenever we say goodbye. They know the answer. Henry touched his chest and said, “In my heart.”

“Remember that, OK?” I said.

He nodded, but looked away.

“Hen,” I said, “believe it or not, some people live to be a lot older than I am, even to 100 or more. I don’t know how long I’ll get to be here. But I promise you this: I will stick around as long as I can. I want to watch you and your cousins grow up. I want to dance at your wedding and kiss your babies’ toes and see how beautiful your mom is when she’s my age. I might even want to work in your restaurant. So, will you hire me, or not?”

He thought about it. “I don’t know, Nana. Twenty years is a long time. Even if you’re still alive, what could you do?”

I rubbed my aching knee.

“Well,” I said, “I won’t catch fish or feed chickens or bus dishes. I will be a greeter. You can prop me up at the door and when customers come in, I’ll say ‘Welcome to Henry’s Place! You’re in for a treat!’ ”

He laughed and said, “Deal!”

And we shook on it.


  1. I hope I am learning to be a good grandma by reading your columns. Our daughter is pregnant with her first. Maybe I should start writing things down now, I don’t want to forget anything! I thank you along with the Bever family for being online. I considered dropping the local paper when your column was no longer in it!

  2. Michael & Rena Bever says

    Sharon, we miss you every Sunday now that you no longer are in our Sunday paper, the Evansville, IN Courier-Journal. Newspapers are not what they once were and neither is the news.

    Thanks for staying on line. We would gladly pay a premium to read you every Sunday. Alas, the Courier is on its 3rd editor since you left… they have no idea.


    Mike and Rena Bever
    Mount Carmel, IL

  3. Martha Green says

    Beautiful. ?

  4. Kate Sciacca says

    Funny, that’s a phrase I use often… “more years behind me than ahead of me…”. And your Henry sounds much like my Jak who is nine. But he’s quite certain he’s actually 30 something…. we don’t even TRY to sit him at the kids table for Thanksgiving ?

  5. You did it again. Exactly how I feel with more years behind than ahead of me. Love those Grands! They keep us young.

  6. Judy Sheeler says

    What a special Nana you are! Treasure those conversations with your dear grandchildren;they grow up way too fast!

  7. Vicki Hamrick says

    My grandson was adopted from Guatemala and has beautiful dark hair and eyes, and gets toasty brown each summer. My daughter is very light completed with medium brown hair with red highlights and very blue eyes. When my grandson started school he returned home one day and when telling how his day went he started laughing and said one of his friends asked why he didn’t look like his mother. He thought that was hilarious and answered “because she’s a girl and I’m a boy!” It had never crossed his mind that there was another difference. Don’t you love being a grandmother?

  8. SYDNEY S LOVE says

    This was so beautiful! I love the way you say things. I could read your words over and over again. Your grandchildren are so blessed to have you in their lives. I pray that God gives you the desires of your heart and you get to do all the things you told Henry you want to do.
    Thank you for sharing the sweetest parts of your life with us.

  9. Believe this might be my favorite! I love those conversations with our grandchildren.

  10. Beth Heeren says

    So funny!

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