My Sister’s Eulogy, July 21, 2023

NOTE: Many of you knew my sister, if only in my columns. After years of declining health, she recently left this world for the next. Knee surgery will prevent me from attending her memorial service. But I will be there in spirit, and in the words of this eulogy:


I am sorry I can’t be with you all today. Bobbie would not be pleased about it, but I think she’d forgive me. I just hope she’ll also forgive me for things I’m about to say.

Let’s start with a memory. When Bobbie was 8, she decided it would be fun to scare a boy who lived nearby. So she put a sheet over her head and went at him, trying hard to look and sound like a ghost. The boy was chopping wood. He tried to kill her with an ax. All that saved her was Cousin Sandy screaming, “No! That’s not a ghost! It’s just Bobbie!”

So many times over the years, I’ve shaken my head at something my sister did or said, and thought to myself, “Well, that’s just Bobbie.”

She always seemed to know what I needed to hear. When our parents split up, she told me not to worry, we would always stick together because sisters can’t get divorced.

When our brother was born blind, she said it wouldn’t hold him back, it would only make him stronger and his blindness wouldn’t matter except to people who didn’t matter at all.

When I won a scholarship and was heading off to college, leaving her with three small children and no free babysitter, she told me to have fun and make her proud.

When I moved to California of All Places to marry a Yankee, she flew out to be matron of honor at my wedding, and brought 4-year-old Wendi to be my flower girl.

When my husband died, she put me to bed and made me rest and helped my children and me to grieve. Then she took me to Mexico and made me pose for a photo with a live chimpanzee.

Years later, when I introduced her to my former editor, she told me straight-faced, if I didn’t marry him, she would. So I married him.

I could tell you a lot of stories about my sister. No doubt, you could tell me some stories about her, too. She was always a story just waiting to be told. And she could make me laugh like nobody’s business _ even if she wasn’t trying to be funny. But what I most want to tell you today are not stories, but things I think Bobbie would want you to know. I’ve thought and prayed about it, and I keep coming back to one simple word: Love.

Bobbie loved life. She loved her parents and grandparents, sister and brothers, aunts and uncles and dozens of cousins in a big crazy family that meant the world to us. She loved her children and grandchildren, her friends and neighbors and co-workers that she treasured. She even loved the patients that she treated as a nurse over the years. Well, most of them. And yes, she loved Elvis. And Willie Nelson. And fried chicken. She loved like a house on fire.

Was her love a perfect love? No. Only God can love with a perfect love. The rest of us just try to do the best we can. Bobbie tried to do her best. She loved us. And she always will.

People leave, but love remains. In days to come, when she visits us in memories, we will feel her love. And we will shake our heads and whisper, “That’s just Bobbie.”

Comments

  1. Michael Klafter says

    My condolences on the loss of your sister.
    I wish you a speedy recovery from your surgery.
    Have blessed day!

  2. Carol (Billings) Kirkman says

    So deeply sorry for the loss of your sister. I know the memories of her will comfort you.

  3. Margie Poe says

    May you find peace, comfort, and healing in all your beautiful memories! 💞

  4. Sue Cooper says

    Your eulogy for your sister was as beautiful as all of your writing, from your columns to your books. Just remember the words you said to me when my daughter passed away 14 years ago – “Just make sure only one of you has died”. You will miss Bobbie always, but live your life and enjoy the beautiful memories of your sister. Wishing you a fast and complete recovery from your knee surgery, and if you ever get bored, remember, there are thousand of fans waiting for new columns from you…….just a thought!

  5. Lynn Weiss says

    I am so sorry for the loss of your sister, Sharon. Thank you for sharing her with your readers for all these years. May all the wonderful memories you have carry you through your grief.

  6. I am so sorry to read of the loss of your sister and sorry that you couldn’t be there for the service; beautiful eulogy. My condolences and prayers to you all. I loved reading about her in your past columns, and know you, your brother, and your family will miss her so much.
    Also praying for a quick and complete recovery from you knee surgery!
    (P.S. although I greatly enjoy reading your past columns, I still miss you writing new ones each week!)

  7. CHope Hall says

    So sorry for your loss. I’m an only, however we had a baby angel to return to God shortly after birth. It’s comforting to know loved ones aren’t lost, they are just in heaven waiting for us. The knee surgery is no fun. Trusting all will go well. God be with you & help you heal quickly. Prayers!!

  8. Deb Weisgerber says

    Dear Sharon…our love & prayers are with you in the loss of your dear sister, and also for your recovery.
    What a beautiful eulogy…a special gift to Bobbie!
    (p.s. We did make our annual visit to Lover’s Point and so excited to see the ice plants in bloom in June for the first time. Spectacular!)

  9. Judy Sheeler says

    Sharon, I am so sorry about the loss of your sister and that you were unable to attend the memorial service. I continued to enjoy your writings and stories about your family; they have sort of become family to your readers, too. May God comfort and bless you and your family during this time.
    Love and prayers,
    Judy

  10. My heart breaks for you on the loss of your sister. My deepest sympathy.

  11. Sheila Stambush says

    Sorry for your loss.

  12. Sharon,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your sisters move from this world to the next was a peaceful one. Your words are a beautiful tribute to your sister. May she rest now.

  13. Ginny Arguello says

    Bobbie would appreciate your column! Condolences on your loss of your wonderful sister. May those memories sustain you. I’ll never forgot how your words helped me after Alex died. You have a gift.

  14. Your sister was as real to us as could be. We all feel the loss. I just read a statement worth repeating: what is grief but love with no place to go.
    May her memory be a blessing.

  15. Kathy Russell says

    I am so very sorry about the loss of your sister, Bobbie. I always enjoyed reading about her in your columns. Prayers and hugs sent to you from Central Texas.

  16. Peggy Paulin says

    My condolences to you and your family. RIP, Bobbie.

  17. Patty Ortiz says

    I’m so sorry for your loss of your sister. Memories and pictures are the best keepsakes. Prayers to you and your family.

  18. I’m so sorry for the loss of your precious sister. I lost my sister 14 years ago and it still seems like yesterday. It’s a very difficult loss. Love and prayers to you.💔

  19. Naomi Smith says

    I am sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Also hope your recovery from surgery is a speedy one. Love and prayers.

  20. Kate Sciacca says

    I hoped you would share some thoughts. So sorry you won’t be there to laugh and cry with your dear ones. Knee surgery? The hits just keep on comin’!

    Prayers for all of you.

  21. Janet bartee says

    So very sorry for your loss! I loved your eulogy to your sister. I had two and they are both gone way too soon. Love and prayers to you for quick healing . Love your writings!

  22. Janice Sizemore says

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost a sister almost 11 years ago, and she had also been my best friend. I can empathize with you. I pray that you will be blanketed in comfort and peace during the days ahead, and I pray for complete healing from your knee surgery.

  23. Beverly Matthews says

    Wonderful eulogy to your sister❤️. My sincere condolences🙏

  24. Jeanne Hobson says

    I’m so very sorry. I’m sure all of your readers feel like they know her. Prayers that God will wrap His comforting healing arms around you.

  25. L. Schum says

    So very sorry for your loss. Sisters are very special people in our lives. Thanks for sharing the love of your sister with us. Blessings to you and your family.

  26. Becky Haney says

    I’m so sorry about you loss, but she certainly left you with many memories and plenty of smiles because she lived and loved.

  27. RoxieAnn says

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I have enjoyed your “Bobbie” stories for years. May your memories give you comfort.

  28. Kathy Crosbie says

    I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. What a beautiful memorial for her. I am sorry you can’t be there but I am sure she would understand. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you have a speedy recovery. I love and miss your columns.

  29. Linda Taylor says

    So sorry for your loss. I definitely feel like I knew your sister through your great storytelling. Thank you for sharing this eulogy!

  30. So Sorry for your loss! It’s hard to put words together for what Sisters mean! Speedy recovery on your knee surgery! ❤️

  31. Ginny Dillin Hauswald says

    Despite the mileage distance from your siblings through the years, many would envy your closeness. Such a gift.
    Thank you for sharing your stories and remembrances about a woman who was definitely a true Southern Lady, because, as you know, we always do it our way!
    My deepest condolences on the losses you’ve soldiered through. You are an inspiration to your faithful readers who look forward to your storytelling that you share so generously.
    I, of course, did not know you sister personally but you’ve shared the gift of Bobbie, today and through the years. Again, thank you.

  32. Bettie V Steelman says

    So very sorry for your loss. Strange thing is I just lost my only sister in May. I feel your pain and loss

  33. Susan Costanzo says

    What a beautiful eulogy. She would be very proud. Cherish your beautiful memories

  34. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister! You are so loved, Sharon. I miss your weekly columns and have loved your books. Hope your knee is healing well. 💕

  35. Clara McMichael says

    So sorry…prayers going up for peace for the family. Hugs sent your way.

  36. Jill Wilhelm says

    So very sorry for your loss.

  37. Dick Daniel says

    I am so sorry for your loss, Sharon. I am sure she would understand why you can’t be there in person. Your memories you shared are funny and touching. I’ll bet she is smiling.

  38. I am so very sorry for your loss, Sharon. After welcoming you and your words into my heart for years…yes, indeed, it DID feel like I knew her. Please accept my sympathy and prayers. Treasure your memories, smile and laugh at all the fun ones. I’m quite sure that would please her.
    Also, best wishes for a speedy recovery from your surgery. I will be facing that soon, as well, and pretty sure it’s not been a picnic for you.
    Blessings and prayers…Kim Zerr

  39. I am so very sorry for your loss 😢

  40. Oh…I’m so so very sorry…my heart hurts for you and may you feel my hug and more importantly Jesus’ holding you tight and fill you with His peace, strength and Love. You were an awesome sister…so was she!

  41. Deepest condolences to you & your family.

  42. Joan Smith says

    My sincere condolences at the loss of your sister. This column was a lovely tribute. Best wishes with your recovery from knee surgery. ❤️❤️

  43. I am so very sorry to see this Sharon. Sisters are special. Hugs and love to you.

  44. Vanessa Kennedy says

    You just made my day. Thank you
    Sharon. You are pure gold. God Bless.

  45. Sharon~I am so sad for your loss of your sister. I have enjoyed reading about her in your columns over the years. This eulogy is perfect. I am praying that God will comfort you with is peace.

  46. Katie Musgrave says

    Sweet tribute about your sister. Love remains and so do your memories. My sister died in Nov3mber and we held a brief, private memorial for her. I m3ntioned some memories I cherished about her. I still smile wh3n I remember my sister. I know you, too, will smile when you remember your sister. Praying for you. ❤️

  47. Cathy Followell says

    I am so sorry about your sister. I do feel like I knew her. I have two sisters myself and can’t imagine my life without them in it. I have always felt sorry for those poor souls who didn’t have a sister…or brother for that matter. There is no bond like it. I will be praying for you and your family and remind you to hold on to those precious memories..they will get you through. You are a blessing to me.

  48. Jo Carter says

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister, I felt like I knew her from reading your columns.

  49. I’m so sorry about your loss. My condolences to you all. I’ve read your column forever and remember how you talked about your sister and it was clear you had a loving relationship. Not all sisters do. I’m sure she will be missed a lot.❤️

  50. Glenda Mathews says

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister.

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