This probably won’t be my best column ever. I always hope for the best. But doing our best takes more than just hope.
Especially in writing. If I cook a bad meal, my husband will get over it. Eventually. But a bad column will haunt me forever.
Writing takes time and effort and a fair amount of passion, all of which I try to give to every column and hope to give to this one. Do you think I’m stalling?
There’s a simple way to say a hard thing: You just go on and say it. I will do that. But first, I want to offer you some advice I’ve shared in columns over the years. I call it, “A Dozen Simple Rules of Common Sense”:
1. When you pass people on the street, smile and say, “How’s your mother?” And they will probably say nice things about you at your funeral.
2. Know what you believe, practice what you preach and always tell the truth. If you tell a lie, at least tell one people will believe, so you’ll only be known as a liar, and not a lying fool.
3. Take care of living things. Feed your animals, tend your crops, be kind to children, old folks and everyone between.
4. Never be rude. If you slip, apologize. Failing to apologize is not just rude but tacky. And you should never, ever be tacky.
5. Avoid confrontation in the heat of anger. Remember, in some states “He needed killing” is not a justifiable defense.
6. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It’s a waste of time and it will annoy the pig.
7. If you have to swallow a frog, don’t look at it too long before you put it in your mouth; and if you have to swallow two frogs, go for the big one first.
8. Never gossip behind people’s backs. They’ll hear about it, unless they’re dead. And never speak ill of the dead, unless they’ve got it coming.
9. Seek first to understand and last to be understood. If you want to learn, ask questions.
10. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Let your wealth be the gold that shines in your words and heart and deeds.
11. Love everyone, even people you don’t like. But treasure the jewels who will laugh with you in good times, weep with you in hard times and reassure you that you aren’t entirely crazy.
12. Stop doing what you’re doing when it’s time to stop. Don’t keep stalling. Just stop.
OK, I’ll say it: This is my final column. The decision to end it is one of the hardest I’ve ever made. But the choice is all mine. I feel led, not forced, to stop.
I’ve written a column most every week for nearly 32 years. It’s been a dream job for me. Those of you who read it, the editors who edited it and the newspapers that published it, made that dream a reality.
I cannot thank you enough.
Over the years, a great many of you have written to say that my stories are your stories, too.
When my first husband died, you said you were praying for me and that your children were praying for my children.
When I remarried and had grandchildren, you cheered.
You even pulled for Clemson to win every game just to make my brother Joe happy.
You wrote pages front and back to share with me the joys and sorrows and histories of your lives. I couldn’t always reply, but I read every word. And soon, you became for me, not just readers, but friends.
I hope I’m a friend to you, too. I plan to post occasional notes on my website (and on Facebook) and look forward to connecting with you there.
Please keep sharing your stories with your children and grandchildren and anyone who will listen — and ask them to share their stories with you.
Our stories tell us who we are, that we are all different in ways that make us interesting, but so much alike in the ways that matter most — the matters of the heart. Sharing our stories can turn strangers into friends.
Thank you for letting me share with you my stories and my life. It has been such a pleasure. I wish you grace and peace and joy.
(Sharon Randall is the author of “The World and Then Some.” She can be reached at P.O. Box 922, Carmel Valley CA 93924 or www.sharonrandall.com.)
“How to Say a Hard Thing,” Dec. 27, 2022
December 26, 2022 by · 83 Comments
😢 Thank you, Sharon, for all your columns, for sharing your stories.👏🏻❤️
Congratulations on your retirement! In hindsight, three decades seem to pass quickly, but a season comes when deadlines are less welcome. Thank you for inspiring us with your writing. It’s a legacy we will continue to treasure.
I was introduced to your columns by a friend . They are such a gift Thank you so much.
Sharon, I believe that the decision on the right time to retire is one of the most difficult in life. I retired after forty years of college teaching and still miss the classroom every day. It was time to pass the torch to the next generation. Fortunately, I discovered a new hobby of writing children’s stories in retirement, and you have been kind enough to mention my Barry Baskerville series in previous columns.
Your eloquent essays have touched the hearts of countless readers for over three decades. That is a legacy of which to be proud. Should you have times of boredom in coming years, consider penning some children’s stories for all the youngsters in your growing clan. If you choose to share those tales with your adult readers, that will be a bonus. Thanks again for hours of enjoyment and enlightenment.
Regards,
Richard
I have mixed emotions of your news, but I totally understand. It’s time to spend time doing whatever you want whenever you want to. It’s true that so many times your stories felt very close to home. I’m glad to hear you will post on Facebook from time to time. It would be nice to hear how you’re doing. God bless you and your family and Thank You!!
I am certainly supportive of your decision but so sad for all of your readers! I look forward each week to read your column and laugh and or cry. I feel like your family is my family. I love your updates on your children, grands, your brother and sister, and hubby. Please post occasional updates so we know how our family is doing and any new babies! You have helped me so much in being a kinder person and being able to laugh at myself. When my husband died, I emailed you and you responded. That meant so much to me.
Go enjoy the next chapter. I am sad but grateful for the memories. God Bless you and your loved ones.
Dear Sharon,
I will miss reading your column. I have so enjoyed it over the years. I hope retirement brings you lots of fun and new adventures. Gary and I still hope to see you when we get over to Carmel. Best to you and your family.
Sincerely
Victoria Alldrin
Every time I visited my parents in Monterey, I would look forward to reading your column, but it was hit or miss if I was going to see it.
How happy I was when I contacted you, and you so generously added me to your email list. Your columns have brought smiles, tears and laughter, and I have truly looked forward to those Tuesday emails!
Thank you, so much, for sharing yourself with all of us over the years. You are valued, and appreciated, and I wish you all the best!
I will miss you, Enjoy the next phase of your life.
Will miss your columns, but wish you much happiness in your retirement.
God bless you and your family.
Gosh, I met you in the last century when you came to my classroom for visually impaired youth and you told a few stories in your, oh, so easy to listen to, storytelling voice. Thank you for your wisdom, humor, compassion, and Southern truths over the decades. Do I have that reversed? Any order of those attributes is the right sequence. Your lucky family will now have megadoses of you, uninterrupted by a keyboard and a column deadline. All the best to you, Sharon, as you gave us your BEST! ❤️
Well, I suppose this step had to come at some point, but I was not ready for it to be today. The personal and meaningful stories you have shared are simply treasures. I will miss my weekly dose of them. I wish you nothing but the best and thank you for the gems of wisdom you have given me over these many years.
Wow, #2, now you’ll have time to knit that sweater, take cooking lessons(not that you need to) paint the hall bathroom, clean the garage, plant spring flowers, make butter on the porch like they do back home, rotate your tires, fix that leaky faucet, go deep sea fishing in the bay, go squirrel hunting, again like they do back home, make some ”shine”, L.T.D.B.H., watch the grandkids while their parents travel for weeks at a time, rearrange the furniture, dust all the light bulbs in the house, put up Christmas lights for next year, water ski in the summer, snow ski in the winter, have lunch with someone you’ve known for over 50 years, complete a 1/2 marathon, start a petition to bring back blue suede and saddle shoes, take up bocce ball and hang out with old Italian men down at the wharf, buy a milking cow for your front porch butter making, buy a lottery ticket and use your grand kids ages to fill it out, stay in your pj’s for a week… or just sleep in for as long as you’d like. Be well, my friend!!
I’m so sad I loved your column every week. God bless you and your family especially your brother I will miss hearing about the amazing things he can do.
Thank-you for your many wonderful columns! I’ve looked forward to reading them every week for many years. I enjoyed meeting you and hearing you speak in person when you came to Grand Island, Nebraska. You have been able to express so many of the feelings I’ve felt during major life transitions and minor e every day occurrences. I, too, lost my dear husband 14 years ago and it felt like you understood that journey, too. I will miss hearing from you every week. May God richly bless you for all the good you have done by writing and sharing your stories!
“Let your wealth be the gold that shines in your words and heart and deeds.”
George Baily truly was “the richest man in town.” And you dear lady are clearly one of the “wealthiest women in journalism.” Thanks for sharing your wealth and wisdom with thousands of us, your readers.
“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven.”
Oh, no! I look so forward to your colun each and every week and share it with many! I’m happy for you but sad for all of us who love you. I will miss you!
I’m so sorry to hear this, but I know there are things that lead us to such decisions. I’ve loved your column for years. When you lost your first husband to cancer, I could empathize, because I had been in the same situation a few years before. I’ve so enjoyed seeing you continue on with your life, growing and finding happiness. I love hearing about your children, grandchildren, and, yes, your brother Joe. May you enjoy life from here on out, knowing their are many of us who care about you.
I am sad and I will miss your posts! You never fail to encourage your readers and I’m grateful for you! Thanks for all the years of writing. We’re blessed!
You should publish a book, or series of books, compiling your columns. Blessings to you and yours.
Thank you so very much…for sharing your time, your thoughts, your insight, your truth, your every word. I’m grateful for all of it and I wish you well.
Oh this makes me so sad!! I just retired a couple months ago…And love it, but selfishness don’t want you to retire! I think we’re the same age and have Birthdays close..mine is 2-22. But I /we will miss you so much! My bestie in Nebraska (we always can’t wait to smell each other’s neck when we plan a trip back with ea other)….she had mailed me your columns faithfully when we moved…and I didn’t want to tell her I had found you on FB. I have stacks of your column I’ve saved! Oh May blessings abound to you and your loves…you will be in my heart always!!
So very sad to read this. Loved your column so much. We will miss you but you’ve more than earned your retirement. Enjoy!!
Well, I shed a tear when I read this! But hey, I would never deny anyone a happy retirement. I’m loving mine. I know you’ll love yours, too. Thank you for all of your thoughtful, honest and funny columns. I have enjoyed every one. May God bless you and your family as you continue your life’s journey. You will be very much missed. It’s always hard to say goodbye, but I’ll be watching for your check ins! Peace and prayers to you.
While I’m sad that there won’t be any new columns to read, I’ve recently had a feeling that this day would be coming sooner than I would like. I have loved reading your column for years and feel like I know you and your family! Thank you for sharing your stories with us! May you find retirement to be all that you hoped it would be. Wishing you clear skies and happy sailing through life! My God continue to bless you and your family. From – a read who considers you a friend!
I have enjoyed your columns for all those years. Thank you for sharing yourself so beautifully and so boldly. I hope you do a few more books.
So happy for you! What wonderful words you have written for so many years. Thank you!
More than 10 years ago I searched for a column you had written after your first husband passed away. I emailed you when I couldn’t find it and your response and column was just what my sister needed after losing her love. I’ve shared the back and forth emails we exchanged back them with others who have lost their spouses and I just want to tell you that your words and wisdom continues on as it is shared with others. ❤️
I will certainly miss your columns but there comes a time to end even good things. I wish I could express my feelings like the ones you have shared. I do think about your brother when I hear the score of a Clemson football game. Enjoy !
I will miss your columns but congratulate you on making this decision. Enjoy your days ahead – I love retirement and think you will too!
So sorry to hear this is your final column. I have really enjoyed reading about you and your family. I wish you the best of luck in the future. You will be missed. It has been a pleasure.
YOU have done so well at sharing your experiences, hopes, dreams, sorrows and laughter. Our lives are all woven with such events. You have ministered to me through the deaths of my parents and our son. Your column has bouyed my spirit as I have faced tragedies and joy. Thank you for reminding us, we are loved and God cares. He gives us people to love and lift us. You are a gifted wordsmith, masterfully loving and lifting us each week. I join many others in missing you, but rejoice for all I learned and pray God continues to shower His grace on you. Well done!
This is a sad day….I always said your best columns were the ones that brought tears…and this one certainly did. We will miss your stories, but we do understand. So glad we got to meet you years ago in Pacific Grove…we treasure that time. Thank you for the love & joy you brought to all your readers/friends forever.❤️
Oh Sharon, I will miss your columns so much. I am a Carolina girl too. I will miss hearing your updates on Bobbie and especially Joe! I know you can’t go on forever and appreciate all you put into your work. Will look forward to your updates on all your family. May our Lord be with each of you all your days!
What a great run! You have provided life lessons and inspiration as well as food for thought for years and I for one was so happy to have been able to share your words in Carmel Magazine. I speak for many when I say what a treasure you are. I am happy for you and you know when the time is right and apparently that time has come. It has been an honor to publish your stories and know you will be loved forever. Thank you! :o)
Carolyn called them her “Balcony People “. Those who witnessed her accomplishments and would rise up from their seats in the balcony and give her a standing ovation. Consider this your standing ovation 👏
Thank you for the years of positive input. Your columns have helped me get through some very rough times. Enjoy your retirement and spend as much ti me with those grandbabies as you can. We both know hiw time flies and they will be grown before you know it.
So very sorry but understand fully! I will miss your columns so much!!They we’re always so thought provoking and enjoyable. God bless you my dear!!❤️
So very sad to read this. We need more of your style columns in this crazy world we live in today. 😢
You have meant so much to us all… Kan’t thank u enough, as well as your editors, spell checkers, and loved ones who have stood beside you… Your candle and flame will long linger with us….
Ohhhhh…. Sharon… How I will miss reading your heart every week for sooo many years. But… I get it…. And I pray that God will Bless whatever you are hoping for in your future years. From the bottom of my heart- THANK YOU!!!!! Debbie💚💚💚
I’m going to miss your columns. …most of them have left a wonderful memory and your like a friend…
Thank you Sharon. Miss you a lot. 32 years of loving job!! Well done dear friend!! Not many people keep up with their favorite job. Not many even get a chance to fulfill their dreams in one life. May God gives you all what you have dreamed about!! I am 66 years old. I know you have done your bestest in each word of your column and book. I will try to read your latest book. Education is best gift we got and gave to our kids. Though I could not use my education here in US but our both kids are using it. That is all we expected. Lot of love and best wishes for you and your husband. Wish you happy new year!! You sacrificed so much of your time for reading others stories and replying by short notes in my mail box as well. I still have a note you gave with your first book of columns I read word by word. Love ❤️ you so very much!!
So beautiful, Sharon!!! Thank you for the gifts of insight, wit and sly humor. Big hugs to you as you move along with your journey.
A sad moment for many, many of us. But 32 years is plenty. Many, many thanks for allthe joy you spread. I love you.
All the best for you and yours Sharon.
I will miss your columns, i have looked forward to reading them for years . They have made mewhether to laugh or to cry and sometimes both. Enjoy your time, hubby, kids and grandkids. Much love to you and thank you for sharing your wisdom and life with us. God bless.
At first I thought “NO!” Then I remembered that I retired early to spend more time with my husband who had already retired. I never regretted my decision to retire & learned to pace myself in enjoying my life activities. I am so thankful for taking time to love my family more by being able to go & do at a moments notice. So, GO, Sharon and enjoy your freed up time for whatever you choose to do. God bless & keep you and yours. Much love to you my friend.
This makes me sad, but I can understand. You really do seem like a friend to me.. I always wanted to meet you but never got the chance.. I wish you Peace and Happiness in your life and I will miss you ❤️
I am saddened by this announcement, but glad that you will have more time to spend with your sweet family and friends. Thank you for sharing your stories and wisdom with us all these years. May you have more love than your heart can hold🤗
This is such sad news for me. Your words of wisdom have meant so much to me. I realize it is difficult to keep on doing many things as we add birthdays. God bless & keep you & yours. You will be missed.