A phone call at 5 a.m. rarely brings good news. I held my breath, afraid to answer. On the last ring, when I saw my sister’s name on the caller ID, I said a prayer and dialed her number. That’s how I learned what I never dreamed possible: My younger brother had died unexpectedly in his sleep.
His name was Denton. I called him “Bubba.” That’s Southern for “brother.” I also called him “Monkey Boy.” That’s Southern for a squirrely kid with a mile-wide grin that lights you up like Christmas and looks, yes, like a monkey. A cute one.
I wish you could’ve known him. Maybe you did. He never met a stranger.
The week before he died, I twisted my ankle and broke two bones in my foot. It prevented me not just from walking but, worse, from flying “home” for his memorial service.
Lest you wonder if somehow Bubba might’ve had a hand in my accident to keep me from telling stories about him at his service, let me assure you he would never do that. I’ve written lots of stories about him. If he wanted to stop me, he’d break my fingers, not my foot.
My mother was 17 when she had my sister. I came along six years later. When I was 4, Joe was born blind, afflicted by cerebral palsy. Denton joined the party when Joe was 2.
Growing up, we were close the way children learn to be, riding a hard, bumpy road, hanging on to each other for dear life.
As we grew older with lives of our own, the closeness faltered but the bond held firm. You don’t have to stay close to remember how it felt, and to hope you will be close again.
His memorial service, hosted by his wife and daughter, was a fitting celebration of a man much loved and a life well lived. Joe spoke on behalf of our family in a voice that was both shaken by grief and steady with resolve: “He was my brother. We had our differences. But I loved him and he loved me.”
Others spoke, too, family and friends, telling stories that poured like a healing balm on a roomful of broken hearts.
I wish I could’ve been there. I might have added this: When Denton was little, he liked to wander off _ across the pasture, back in the woods, as far as he could go. My mother would make me go find him.
I spent half my childhood looking for him. Sooner or later, I always found him. Often as not, he’d be curled up asleep under the porch with the dogs.
One day we were taking turns jumping a barbed wire fence. (Back then we didn’t have IPads.) One of us would hold the fence down while the other took a flying leap over it. At one point, for reasons I will never understand, when Denton leaped, I let the fence go.
Minutes later, as my mother rushed him off to get his leg stitched up, I stood sobbing on the porch waiting for the police to come and take me away.
The police never came. And Denton never ratted me out. He came home with 12 stitches, crawled up in my lap and asked me to tell him a story.
In that moment, I saw clearly the size of my brother’s heart. I would see it time and again in years to come: When he married his high school sweetheart, the love of his life; when he bragged about their daughter (which he did every time we spoke); when he came to California to comfort me after my first husband died, and made me laugh by hiding in the bushes growling like a bear to scare our sister half to death.
Sometimes when I flew back to visit, he’d give me a tour of the homes he built. (His crew loved that I called him Monkey Boy.) Or we’d meet for lunch in town and talk and laugh for hours. Each time I saw him, I always hoped for another time.
There are so many stories I could tell you about my brother and the size of his big heart.
I will just say this: If you get to heaven before I do, tell him that when I get there, I’ll be sure to find him.
And the first place I will look is under the porch.
Sharon, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby brother. It breaks my heart that you were not able to be there for the services. I pray your foot heals and you are back on your feet soon. I was thinking about when I first started reading your columns the other day. I don’t remember how long it has been but the columns were about the family of birds outside your window. If you happen to know when that was and can let me know it would solve the mystery of how long I feel like you have been a part of my family. Love and hugs, hoping you get to the home to the Carolinas soon. I am a Belton, SC girl myself
Sorry to hear about your brother. Wish your foot heals faster! Take care.
Sharon I read your column every Sunday and love the way you make me feel like you are a friend. I just read the one about your brother, I had an older brother that I thought so much of, it hurt so bad when I lost him to cancer. We talked on the phone a lot, many times just thinking about him the phone would ring and he would ask how I was doing. When my husband had open heart surgery and did wake up for 5 days my brother was the one I talked to on the phone driving home from the hospital crying and he consoled me. Brothers are special be younger or older, thanks for your column.
Sharon thank you for sharing your stories with us/ God bless yr family.
Read your column every Sunday in the Standard Times , San Angelo , Tx. Really enjoy it! So sorry to read that your brother has passed. I know the empty hole it leaves. My first thought was it was Joe as your readers feel we know him so well. Thank you for writing about normal things in all our lives
So many condolences Aunt Sharon. We love you and wish you were home with us. His truck is where he left it.
I am so sorry to hear about of your brother Denton’s death. Your words about him make me treasure my loved ones all the more.
I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your brother, Denton. Your sweet story has brought tears, and memories. Prayers for you and your family.
so sorry to hear about your brother…….Love all of your stories especially about “Monkey Boy” God bless you and your family
Sharon, I’m so sorry about your brother. I almost feel like I know him from your columns. I can’t imagine losing my younger brother. What a wonderful tribute to your brother and man with a life well lived. And…thank you for sharing his life, your relationship with him, and how not all relationships aren’t perfect but are so valuable.
Cried like a baby when I read your tribute to Bubba. I am sorry, so very sorry, for your loss. God bless you.
Sharon, we have a small group of your followers who text about your column every Saturday in Salisbury, NC. You have really blessed us so many times and we are all grandmothers too. We will be grieving with you after reading about Bubba. Thanks for sharing so much with us, you will be in our prayers.
Prayers for you and your family. I only have one brother but he was enough to aggravate me and me him. But don’t let anyone else try it or you risked the wrath of a Southern girl. And there is none worse.
Sharon, I am so sad to learn of the loss of your little brother. How heartbreaking to be unable to attend his memorial service. He will always remain in your heart and stories. Thank you for sharing him with us.
Sharon, I’m so sorry to hear about Bubba’s death. You have talked about him in many of your
columns and with such love that I felt I knew him. He will be forever in our hearts.
Jean Mansfield
Thinking of you, Sharon. Your brother will live on in your wonderful stories. Thanks always for sharing your gift of writing with your devoted readers.
I was so saddened to read the passing of your brother, Sharon. May Gods loving arms surround you and give you comfort.
Wonderful tribute to your brother. I always relate to your columns. Life is so short and needless to say we/l should slow down and enjoy my life and live each day to the fullest. Tell your loved ones, family & friends that you love them..
Sharon: I’m so sorry for your loss, prayers for you and your family.
So sorry for your loss. Love and prayers to you and your family. As so many who have commented here – I felt I knew him and loved him and prayed for him.
Sharon, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know you will see him again and then you will never have to say goodbye.
Thank you for sharing your life and stories with us.
So sorry for your loss Sharon.
So sorry to hear of the death of your brother. For some reason, I thought you only had one brother & one sister. My condolences to your whole family & I hope that your foot heals very soon. It mus have been difficult not to be able to attend the memorial service. God bless.
Sharon, I am sorry for your loss and that you couldn’t travel to be with your family. That is hard.
For as long as I could remember, I wanted a big brother, and when I realized I couldn’t have one, I wanted a little one. I had to marry to have a brother-in-law, actually 9 of them! I know a really Bubba would be better 🙂
Sharon, once again you have shared your heart with us all and we are the more richer, and stronger for it. Prayers for you and all your family.
So sorry to hear about your brother. I love your column and read it every Sat. I can identify with you in so many ways. I’m a grandma, Mom, Sister and Wife too. Going to spend next week with my 92 year old Dad and 5 sisters and brothers in Kane, Pa. Again my deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Sharon , Sorry to hear of your unexpected loss. This is the time we hold on to those special memories we hold dear in our hearts.
I am very sorry your lost I will keep you and your family in my prayers !!
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could hug you and listen to your Monkey Boy stories. You were (are) a wonderful sister to him. Please accept my sympathy.
Thank you for the Oloving tribute to your brother,Sharon. You and your family have moved into one of the rooms in my heart, and like many of your followers we all share your grief and feel a sense of loss. Always in my prayers that you will soon feel stronger with the loving support. Blessings to you, Garnett Zamboni, Salina, KS
And once again your story feels like my own. Years ago, like in decades, my older brother who I loved more than anything, went on a date, was in a wreck, and the next time I saw him he was in a casket. Oh, But the stories I coukd have told on him. Thank you for sharing yours.
So sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs of love & sympathy to you & yours. From your many stories, I feel that your brother was a part of my life somehow. To die peaceful is what we all want and he got his wish, maybe a bit sooner than later, but I’m sure heaven is a great place. Hopefully, he will be the “greeter” so we all can meet him!
Be patient dear one. One day, years from now, you will be reunited not only with him, but with all the others that you have missed for so long.. What a glorious reunion it will be!
Oh Sharon so sorry to hear about your brother passing. What a beautiful tribute, I imagine he is in heaven with a big smile on his face of all your memories of your childhood stories 🙂 I wait anxiously for your column to come out this time what a heart break for you. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Sharon, this is another one of your beloved stories that I will tuck away in a corner of my heart. Prayers for you & your family.
It was lovely. Perfect.
So sorry for your loss……what a beautiful tribute. May your wonderful memories give you some comfort. Thoughts and prayers are with you…
My thoughts and prayers are with you….and with his family. Thank you for sharing…it is amazing what your sharing does for others!
Beautiful tribute
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sharon. I have a “little” brother, too. This was a lovely tribute. Thank you for sharing the moments of your life with us so eloquently.
So very sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family.
So sorry for your loss, Sharon. My heart and prayers are with you and your family. Brothers are special. I was blessed with one that was my protector, my life guide. He introduced me to big city living (Chicago). He soothed my broken hearts. I lost him suddenly too when he was 55 back in 1998. To this day when life is trying I feel him near. If I go before you I will look for “Monkey Boy” if you promise to look for my brother “Hoagie”. He will be off singing like Louis Armstrong or singing “It Took A Fine Time To leave Me Lucille”. That was my pet name from him. I bet we will find them together somewhere around that porch. Hugs
I am so very sorry Sharon for your loss. I lost my older, by 3 years, brother in 2010 to Cancer. My husband also lost his youngest brother in the same way years before. Actually my husband & I were at our Uncle’s funeral today, but he lived a very long life & had been married 74 years. His wife, our Aunt, is still living. I can only imagine how devastated you must have been to hear the news that your brother had passed away unexpectedly. I hope the hugs from husband, kids & grand babies will help heal the hole in your heart. God Bless.
thank you, I always enjoy reading your stories and I enjoyed seeing you when you came to Mocksville, North Carolina
I live in Clemmons,NC
Love and hugs and tears. You express sister love and grief for all of us.
Oh Sharon, I am so sorry that one of you all is gone. I say it this way beacause of how you wrote this story – as if a limb was missing. Its far too soon to say – I hope that big old hole in your heart will start mending as you thread stitches of happy memories through it as soon as you can.
When you’re remembering him, remember how lucky you were to have him. Beautifully written, beautiful Bubba.
Am so sorry for your loss. My sincere condolences to you and your family.
Oh Sharon, so sorry to hear about your brother. How bittersweet it must have been for you to write this column. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You remind me that life is short and to hold what is dear to me close. Think I”ll give my sister and Dad a call.