How do you say goodbye to a friend you’ve never met?
Twenty-five years ago, when my editor called me into his office, I knew I was in trouble.
“Sorry I left early yesterday,” I said. “I’ll never do it again. After today. I have to sell hot dogs at my son’s baseball game.”
He rolled his eyes. “I want you to start writing a column.”
“About what?”
“Life,” he said.
I was a newspaper reporter, the wife of a basketball coach, mother of three too-smart-for-their-own-good kids, a Sunday school teacher, Little League scorer and PTA volunteer. My life kept me hopping faster than a barefoot drunk who mistook a briar patch for an outhouse. But who on Earth would want to read about it?
My grandmother used to say, “Never pretend to be what you aren’t or to know what you don’t know. People forgive ignorance, but they never forget a phony.”
So I agreed to write about life as I knew it, whatever might come along, the everyday, ordinary matters of the heart. Thus began a dream job I never dreamed would be mine, writing “letters” to strangers who would somehow become not just readers, but friends.
I’m hoping you are one them.
Three years later the column was syndicated to papers around the country and mail increased astronomically. But wherever it came from, people sounded much the same.
No matter what I wrote about _ my kids, my blind brother, my husband’s basketball team, my big Southern family or people who cornered me in public restrooms to tell me their life histories _ I would hear back from countless readers who’d tell me a similar story and say they knew how I felt and that they felt the same way, too.
I never wanted to write about cancer. After my husband was diagnosed, I tried to write about other things. Anything. But cancer kept getting in the way.
Soon people near and far were writing to say that we were not alone. They or their loved ones were battling cancer, too. They said they’d added my husband’s name to their church’s prayer list, and their children were praying for our children.
I liked those people a lot.
I didn’t want to write about losing my husband, or being a widow or figuring out who I was when I was no longer who I’d been. But I wrote about all that.
I never planned years later to write about falling in love again, getting married, moving to Las Vegas, or having grandchildren. But those things came along, too. Life is full of surprises.
Writing columns and hearing from readers has taught me all sorts of things. Here are a few:
First, in the everyday, ordinary matters of the heart, we are all more alike than different.
Second, writing about life is not so different from living it; if you stay alive and pay attention, things will keep coming along.
Third, and most important, we need to say what’s on our heart while there’s time to say it. Is there someone you need to thank? Or forgive? Or ask for forgiveness? Do it now. Don’t wait. Wipe the slate clean and start the new year fresh.
For 25 years, it’s been my job and my joy to write columns and hear from readers. I want to assure you, as of this writing, I am not sick, dying or retiring.
However, the syndication is changing. That doesn’t mean I can’t keep writing the column and posting it on this website. I can do that, if I so choose, until the cows come home. But it does mean that if I decide to continue writing the column, I’ll need to find a new way to get it to your newspaper.
I wanted you to hear that from me.
In my last column of 2015, I especially want to say this:
Thank you for your friendship and encouragement; for your prayers and kind words; for your honesty and trust in telling me your stories; for making speaking engagements feel like family reunions without the fist fights; and most of all, for reading my words, hearing my heart and writing to tell me that my stories are your stories, too.
You have been such a gift.
I am relieved to know that you will be posting here until you are in my hometown newspaper the Times Record again. I was very upset that I would not enjoy your humor and ensight into what is important to us your readers. I have loved getting to read about your life, and I am not ready to give it up. Never stop writing. There will always be people like me that love it!
I too have enjoyed your column. Look forward to reading your updates on your website and hope you are able to make it back into newspaper form soon. Best wishes to you as you start the new year!
I am saddened by the news that I may not see you each Monday morning! You always gave me such joy and a will to start a new week! So, could you write a blog that we can all follow? Maybe it is time to write another book!!!! Have you thought about Facebook? Please just let us know where we can find you, and I assure you, my Friend, we will be there!!!! I also hope you return to Fort Smith, AR soon!!! Your devoted friend, sharla Z
I always look forward to reading your column each week. You are like a friend that visits each week! I pray that you will be back writing soon! You will be missed by me and I know so many others!
Sharon, thank you for many cheerful Sunday morning columns. I will miss your writings as they were the first thing I read in Sunday paper. Keep on writing. I’llc try to read you online. Farewell, friend. Rose Bottorff
I have enjoyed reading your column each week. I can’t believe I won’t be hearing from you again! It is refreshing to read something that is true to life instead of some fabricated, phony philosophy! May God bless you and your family! Love, Martha Hamm
I have enjoyed reading your colum for many years and before my mom passed away last December 20th, she read it too. When I found out you were coming to our city a few years ago I surprised her for her birthday and we got to meet you! Your last column of 2014 , I sat here and cried, which I do a lot anyway when reading your column, because it pertained so much to what I was going through and what life is about and I knew my mom was with me reading it too! I will be reading you wherever you are! Thanks for your gifts!!!
Sharron, Well the more things change the more they stay the same. I find a great cereal I like at the supermarket and 7 months later they stop carrying it. I get a wonderful, comfortable, long lasting pair of socks and they stop making them.
And so it seems with your weekly uplifting, life guiding, thought provoking. incredibly interesting life stories. Change is blowing in from the desert – hot, dry, and disappointing. Sharron’s weekly injection of inspiration and LOVE is… what? Moving, leaving, leaving my paper? disappearing? Life holds many surprises and disappointments and it looks like one is about to blow sand on my peanut and jelly sandwich.
Please say it ain’t so Sharron. Please comfort us and tell us that we’re jumping to conclusions – for which I’m quite famous. Tell us that “At the last minute the governor has stayed the sentence and your readers will be able to breath and continue to be filled with your joyful words of inspiration.” Tell us anything other than “Sorry, but change is the way of life and I wish you all the best.”
I’ve had a few painful events in my life along with many many blessings and great fortune (my wife being at the top of the BLESSING list) so I don’t want to lose one of the most wonderful of my blessings – the LETTER SHARRON WRITES TO ME every week.
Reassure us, PLEASE…
Dear Sharon – I, too, have just read your column “How to say goodbye to a friend you’ve never met?” I sincerely hope this is not your last article for me – I hope our local Western New York paper will continue to publish your articles in their Sunday edition. God Bless you & your family with a Happy New Year!!
hi Sharon! Our small local paper in Arkansas carried your column for several years. I enjoyed your writing so much, that each week, I would cut it out and mail home to my mom in Ohio. She loved them! Many more times than not, we could both identify with what you were sharing. Sadly, our paper stopped carrying your column and I looked online to find you. I was thrilled to see again your weekly columns and would copy/print and mail each week to Mom. I even managed to surprise her with a copy of your book BIRDBATHS AND PAPER CRANES. It has been a few years now since losing Mom. However, I still weekly make a point to read your column off your site. It’s my few minutes each week of “spending time” once again with Mom. No matter where newspapers end up, I hope you will continue your writing for all of us to share in. I know you feel like family to many, many readers like me!
Your column was always the best thing published by our newspaper, even better than the Sunday crossword. Each week, you touched my heart. When you began writing about your grandchildren, I was amazed that our feelings and crazy actions with them were so much alike. When our paper stopped publishing your column several years ago, and I feverishly looked for another way to read your thoughts. I wish you could have seen (to borrow your phrase) my joy when I found your blog. Please keep writing here, or give us another place to find you. No one sums up the joys and sorrows of our everyday lives like you do.
OH, dear! I do hope you can continue the column on line. If not, I just want you to know that I will miss your column — and you very very much.
I can’t believe that the newspaper is once again shooting themselves in the foot. I will follow you when we you are.
DEAR SHARON, AFTER READING SO MANY LETTERS TO YOU I REALIZE I’M NOT THE ONLY READER DISAPPOINTED. I ALSO ENJOY READING YOUR COLUMN ON SUNDAY MORNING IN ANDERSON/REDDING, CA., IT MAKES ME SMILE TO READ ABOUT YOUR GRANDKIDS. IT IS SO FUNNY AT TIMES & HEART WARMING. I SOMETIMES WILL SEND IT TO MY DAUGHTER TO ENJOY ALSO. HOPEFULLY MY PAPER, THE RECORD SEARCHLIGHT, WILL CONTINUE PRINTING IT, IF NOT I GUESS IT WILL BE ONLINE. HAVE TO SAY I LIKE THE PRINTED NEWSPAPER BETTER. GOOD LUCK AND KEEP ON WRITING THOSE NICE COLUMNS.
I would hope that your insightful writing will still be available in some manner. You have been a lifesaver for me over the last few months. My guess would be that the decision to eliminate your column was made by nameless, heartless money crunchers, which is a big problem in our society today. Regardless of whether I will be able to read your thoughts in the future, I thank you for sharing from your heart, and exposing your life to make this world a Better Place. God bless you and your family.
So, maybe my newspaper has given me another reason not to subscribe? “They” are killing themselves.
I would appreciate your continuing to share your life. So many times, you touch my soul with your stories. I will connect on Face. Book or through this website.
With today’s technology, friends can stay in touch. Without a paper copy!
Love your column and just hope my newspaper will continue carrying it. I do so look forward
to reading it every Sunday and will be lost without it. I’ll try and keep up with you no matter
who carries your column. as it is the best thing I read all week.
Missing you already.
Jo Ann from Alabama
If you are no longer published I. The Kearney NE Daily Hub, please let us know how we can still read your columns…….do not want to miss any. I look forward to reading them every week! May God Bless you in the New Year….
Sharon, I gave up on my local paper a long time ago when they started charging more for their subscription and providing less and less paper for me to read. But I found you online thankyouJesus. Please keep on doing what you are doing. You are the only person who can put into words what I think and feel and you’ll never know just how much I appreciate you for that. Makes me happier than a mule eating briars and sometimes makes me cry but in a good way. Keep on keeping on. Please. And I hope you and yours have a wonderful New Year.
I started reading your column on the website when we moved from Tennessee to Georgia. Our paper in Athens, Ga is very small and I was disappointed but not surprised when they didn’t run your column. I feel like I would be losing a good friend if I didn’t know what was happening in your life. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Oh, no,no,no….just finished reading your last column of 2015. I am saddened. Your column has been the bright spot in my Sunday paper (San Angelo,Texas Standard-Times) for years. Growing up in Georgia and moving away. I identified with so many of your writings about the South. I , too, have shared with others your column and saved many for myself to re-read. Please keep your readers both laughing as well as moved to tears by sentiment. You are a jewel! Keep me on any list where your future writings will be. Thanks for sharing your time and talent.
Iris Bradley
Sharon–I do feel like we are such good friends because you share your family stories with me every Sunday morning. I am so saddened to learn this is your last column. Hopefully, you can find another way to let us back into your life!! If not, Thank You for your wonderful stories and Please keep writing for others to enjoy!! Patty Cinalli of Fairmont, WV
Please don’t stop writing. I love to relax in the evening and realize that you have written a column I have yet to read. Sometimes it adds to my joy or other times takes me away from my sorrows. Either way it is such a joy to read you and I think you probably need to write as much I need to read you. Please don’t say goodbye to this friend.
Please, please keep writing. Over the last few years I have especially identified with many of your stories. The stories of change and loss have often made me cry, but then I became a grandma and your stories of pure love for each grandchild as it came along really touched me.
Blog or something, but you can’t stop writing. Your story isn’t finished, and we need to know the rest.
Sharon, I sure hope you keep writing. I love reading about your life and how you live it. Your words touch the hearts of all who read them. I don’t know about syndication but I do know about a good column when I read one. I look forward to yours. Keep the electronic version going!
I don’t even want to believe this! I wait for your column in Saturday’s Winston Salem Journal…your column and the gardening tips are my first reads.
I hope you will continue to post your columns on Facebook or your website. …there are still so many stories left for you to share!!!
Thank you for all the touching, nostaglic and funny moments you’ve given me!
Kim
Sharon,
Should you choose to keep writing, I will keep reading and enjoying your willingness to share your life experiences, your honesty, your wisdom, and your wonderful storytelling abilities. My local paper stopped carrying your column on a regular basis a while back, but I found you on the internet and check for new columns regularly. I also share your columns with others who very much appreciate your work.
Best of luck to you and your family in 2016 and many thanks to you for your inspiring and insightful stories.
Sharon, I like so many others was saddened and disappointed to read that your column would no longer be in our newspaper( the Winston Salem Journal). For years I’ve looked forward to reading your column, saving a lot of them, sending copies of some to friends, and often getting e-mails saying “Have you seen Sharon today?”. I feel like I’ve lost a friend but hope you will continue to write on this site.
Merry Christmas to you and your family, Dear Sharon!!! I cherish all our memories together. Love you Lots!!!
Your columns have touched my life. The first time I read your column, I was hooked. Every Monday in the Corpus Christi Caller Times, I looked at your column first. You are an inspiration, a blessing and a shining star. Last year, I bought several copies of your book to send to friends. I emailed you asking you to sign them. Next thing I know, there they were. Sent to my address in Texas. It has been my hope to meet you someday. We recently moved to Colorado Springs, Colorado. Do you have upcoming speaking engagements in this area? Please keep writing. Let me know where your columns will be posted. I am on Facebook or please email me. You are the best. Sending warmest wishes, blessings and joy for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!
Dear Sharon,
I have been a fan of you and your column since before your grandchildren started arriving. I was a relatively new grandmother at the time. I eagerly waited each week for your column. Each one brought me a new dose of laughter and love. When I moved to a new city, I was saddened to learn that the local paper did not carry your column. It was like losing a dear friend! Fortunately I searched for you on line was so excited to learn you were on Facebook. Ever since then your column has appeared weekly on my news feed. I never miss reading it. I wish you luck in your new adventure. But I truly hope that adventure includes some sort of column, at least on Facebook. I would hate to think this was the last time that I would hear from your heart!
Sharon, I’m saddened by all this and hope you still write your columns and I’ll be able to read them via your website or on Facebook. I’ve enjoyed and look forward to them each and every week. Your are like a friend that reaches out to all of us. Yup bring a ray of sunshine to me on my not so sunny days. On the days I feel so sorry for myself, you snap me back into reality and make me realize someone else is far worse off than I am. Some of my life seems somehow the same as yours or those you write about. You are an inspiration! Keep writing and please post. I too, write; but only in my own private journals. Hope to read another column in 2016!
Sharon, add me to your greatest fan list. I got hooked when my local newspaper here in Ohio carried your column. I was so sad when they no longer did. I bought your book, and then when newspapers went on line, I was able to read some of your columns. Then Facebook came along, and I’m always so excited when you post the latest. I was raised in Kentucky. My childhood sounds a lot like yours was…..probably one of the reasons I love your writing so. Everyone probably has a favorite column you wrote. Mine favorite was the one you wrote about dreaming you were in Heaven and all your relatives were there and you went down the line hugging and remembering them all. I cried like a baby. To this day I am still jealous. I would love to have that dream and see all my wonderful family members for another hug. You have been a joy and a blessing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Big hugs coming your way from this Sharon.
Sharon. Again it happens. I live in the Monterey area and have been blessed by your columns from the beginning. Lost you when the Herald stupidly stopped running your column. Bought your book. Found you again on FB and share you on my page. Your son taught my grandson and I feel a part of your family. Love you and love your writing style. Please keep posting on FB so I don’t lose track of my old friend again. I cherish you.
I would love to be on your mailing list. One of my best friends in Kansas had the same type thing happen to here…she was hired to write about life just as you and cancer touched her life too only it was she who was sick. I was with her in the hospice room as she wrote her last column with us not knowing it would be her last. Many of her fans found out she had cancer from her obituary but not her column. Her few months as a writer was a gift to us to be able to keep in print her words such as hanging onto her son’s bumper as he drove off to college with him yelling for her to let go now, it’s time. You remind me of her and that is a blessing. Put me on your list!!
This line, “hopping faster than a barefoot drunk who mistook a briar patch for an outhouse,” made this Christmas day for me and describes a compassionately sadistic sense of humor. My wife has dementia, usually recognizes my body but not always her husband and she is in a skilled nursing facility. Your columns have given me strength as I compare them to my family – your grandmother chew snuff, mine chewed wheat. Writing and self publishing my life story, “Farmer’s Son, Military Career”, was a financial disaster, but helped my outlook on life more than any psychiatrist could. I sent you a copy and I’m hope you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed and hope to continue enjoy reading your columns on my computer but preferably in the newspaper.
As the grandkids finish opening presents and eating to much junk food this early in the morning, I sat down to read yesterday’s paper and see this is your last column, I am sorry to see you leave our newspaper as you are a great writer about things I can relate to, i.e. a large family, living in N.C.,moving to a different state (me to NY),grandkids, etc I wish you and yours well and have a very merry Christmas
Thank you Sharon for your column . Today after two days when I opened computer, first thing I did was to read your column . And it is most inspiring . News papers are getting less popular and people are lost with other stuff .Thank you to your family who made your web site and we are fortunate to find your blog . Keep posting ,we love to read and wishing you Merry Christmas !
Next week when I don’t find your column, I’ll be very disappointed and say “I wish I could have seen it.” Change is so hard; I’ll miss you.
Sharon, thank you for your writings. They just give peace or a good laugh to life’s continuous busy schedule. So glad to hear you will still post on the website. My sweet sister sent me a quote after my husband decided he wanted to move on with his life without me – “Endings aren’t final. They are the comma before the next chapter.”
If your columns are not in a newspaper they will be posted somewhere else even more special!!!
I cannot tell you how many columns I’ve clipped and saved, or sent in cards. The newspapers are difficult enough to read these days, without the beauty of your column beckoning me to lighten up and smile. Your words told stories of truth and hope for another wonder filled day. Some brought tears, some laughter. Thank you for sharing from the heart. This is a great loss to the newspaper. Blessings to you in your new journey. Garnett
Bummer! I so enjoy reading your column every wed in our local paper. I know many changes are being made in all publishing venues, but the old saying, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” applies here.
Like all the others who have commented, I will look for you here on your website. God bless you and yours at this most sacred time of the year.
. . .YOU are a gift to so many! Bless you, and Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Merry Christmas! At a time when we celebrate the gift of Light, you also shine a bit of light into our dark nights. Thank you.
You are such a gift for all of us who cry, laugh, think, wonder and recall the “little things” of life as as we read your stories. No, more than a gift, a blessing…. A huge blessing. Wishing you a blessed and joyful Christmas and a very happy New Year.
I first started reading Sharon Randall’s column in our local paper here in nampa, Idaho after several years editors change and I no longer found her columns in the local paper. After many years I finally googled her name and much to my surprise I seen she had moved to Las Vegas of all places!! I read on her blog that I could sign up for her weekly publications to be sent to my email 🙂 I sent the request and the very next day got a reply from Sharon . Your personalized columns speak to so many of us from childhood memories to marriage, child birth, cancer, being a nanny I feel I have shared the same journey in life right down to the Christmas spirit seems to find me! I have been rather bah humbug this year. Sharon Randall you have been a god send to me I look forward to your weekly column <3
Yes, Sharon, I too hope that you will continue your stories here. I imagine I speak for many, many others who don’t generally reply here, but who do eagerly look forward to reading your columns regularly. I have been a faithful reader since your Bay Window days, and I met you twice when you came to my town. You say we’ve been a gift, well you have been a gift to us!
Sharon, I think I speak for hundreds of our newspaper’s readers when I ask you to continue making your column accessible on your website. Our paper has carried your column for more than 20 years, and it is so popular we have to publish an editor’s note when you’re on vacation. Otherwise, we get dozens of panicked calls from readers who worry that we’ve dropped the column. So please, for me, for our readers, and for those poor newsroom folks who would have to field all those angry calls, keep up the great work!
I, too, became acquainted with you and your column through a newspaper. After moving, my only source was your blog. Never miss a Tuesday reading the updates. So hope you can continue these wonderful stories about life. You are such a gifted writer.
I love reading your column. The same think happened to me — I found you in the local newspaper and then they started printing your column every other week only. I found this site and will truly miss your column if you stop posting.
Please, please, please continue to post your column on this web site. I got acquainted with you and your column from my local newspaper several years ago, and they stopped printing it. I then found this site, and I was so happy. I read you faithfully every week, and you have been such an inspiration to me. I’ve even saved your column titled “Follow Your Heart” on my computer, and re-read it quite frequently. If you don’t post to this site, I will find you somehow.
Sharon Mullens speaks for so many. I first met Sharon Randall through a man who realized that I needed a friend who had a background so similar to mine. For several months, he thoughtfully emailed the weekly column. I accepted her as “MY” friend immediately. I was brave enough to reply by writing of my Southern heritage, signing as “AliceMarie of Tennessee. Can you imagine my joy receiving a reply signed ” rosaSHARON!” At 94 I eagerly await hearing from “Our Friend”. Alicemarie from Tennessee.
alice
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Alice Marie of Tennessee, I am overjoyed that you wrote to Sharon & ya’ll are friends. I eagerly await to read whatever our friend Sharon has written. Please dear Sharon keep on keeping on writing here there everywhere. There is so much negative in the newspaper, your bright light of positivity is eagerly hoped for. Jenny Taylor of Killeen, Tx